It’s hard not to stare at a picture of our kids and not wonder what life would be like without them. They are such an amazing gift and they give so much, but we were married almost six years before James came along. When we decided to start trying, I have to admit, I was terrified. Life was so easy, we had it made. Why would we want to “complexify” things? No sleep, big bucks, bigger responsibility and did I mention big bucks… oh yea. We gotta be insane.
Then terrorist number one came along and wow...no sleep, big bucks, big-time responsibility and ah...did I mention big bucks...oh yea. Funny part about it is it didn't matter. Well, it matters but not like I thought it would. Life has a way of turing things upside down sometimes and this one flipped me over like pancakes on a griddle. When hard times come along in life its easier to focus on the anguish of having to climb a hill without actually taking the time to relish what the view will look like from the top. I don't think anyone is ever prepared for what they will face in going down this road and I am guilty as charged...that's how I originally looked at having kids. Intimidated, afraid of the change and comfortable with the status quo. Now one of the most beautiful things that I try and comprehend sometimes is that they would not exist had we not decided to have them. They are a combination of us that no one could ever duplicate. Two instances in time forever captured in two little souls so beautiful and so precious.
I don’t think I realized that in the beginning. I was scared because most of what I focused on was the risk and not the benefit. One of the things that I cherish most is that I was wrong for being afraid and wrong for worrying. For all of the crazy, foolish and insane things they do, I have to admit that they brighten each and every one of our beautiful days.
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