The holiday curl over my belt

I love to eat more than any other hobby that I have. Hugh, but now that I think about it, with two kids under five, I am not sure I have any other hobbies. That makes me really good at this one and you can be sure that I am doing everything I can to excel at it.

Take the annual Riddle Christmas weekend for example. My hand grew an extra appendage called the M&M bowl that Kelly so conveniently placed on the window pass through to our dining room. Of course the one pound bag of M&Ms was not nearly enough...we elected for two. So the first day my extra appendage helped itself to an assortment of beautifully colored chocolate bombs. Oh, but I grew wise to its ways and so it was time to outsmart that selfish little critter.

Being the intellectual giant that I am, my first attempt at "strategery" was to move it off the pass through shelf. That would make it highly inconvenient to get to; coupled with the fact that it would only be visible from one perspective, the kitchen, thereby removing 50% of the possible outcomes. My MBA was a huge asset in this situation as the statistical analysis class I so eloquently got a B+ emerged and that wealth of information allowed me to troubleshoot my way through this difficult logical problem.

Ha, Ha, I had it licked, vanquished and running with its tail between its legs. The only problem is that I followed. That devious little SOB had now tricked me into spending 50% more time in the room it now resided. Like sand through the hour glass, so were the M&Ms flowing into my mouth. Having filled myself with enough puffery to inflate a Macy's Day parade balloon, the giant sucking sound deflating my ego was deafening. Oh, but don't doubt me yet, I still had a few tricks up my sleeve.

My quick witted mind seized on an opportunity created by my son when he decided to grab for that pesky little critter himself. His hand was nearly buried in the colorful mass before I saved him and snatched it away. We had a solemn heart-to-heart about the pain and suffering too much chocolate would cause his frail little body, and he quietly said "thanks dad, I only want to eat good things from now on." He went back to playing with his cousin in the other room...another good deed completed for the day.

But what was I to do? There I stood with the critter in my hand longing, waiting, calling me to indulge. I had to remove the temptation from my sight...that will do it. I was feeling weak, not quite as strong as my earlier convictions had displayed, but I still had one other trick up my sleeve...the cupboard. I grabbed the small step stool in the kitchen and stuck that little critter out of sight on the highest open shelf I could find in the cupboard. There it would be safe, hidden away behind closed doors, allowing me to freely move around the house without any outside influences. I closed the door and felt immediate relief.

A calm came over the kitchen and I stood at the top of the stool triumphant. I had won and the strength swelled through me like a wave crashing into shore. I took a deep breath, filled my lungs and turned back around to climb down the step stool. My face felt white hot and I was beaming when Kelly walked into the kitchen and said, "hey, since your up there can you grab the serving bowl off the top shelf, I need it for the ham balls."

That as they say was “all she wrote”…and now you know the rest of the story...

When the wind is at your back

Big hiatus from my last post. If you have been holding your breath I suspect death came and passed long ago and for that I am sorry. It was nice knowing you :)

This one has been stirring around in my mind for some time…since Thanksgiving Day for that matter. We went to Lanesboro for the holiday weekend and you can tell from Kelly’s pictures along the Root River trail that the weather was just gorgeous. Nice enough for that matter, that I got to head out for a run on Thanksgiving Day before dinner. I guess part of me was hoping I could make a deposit at the First National Bank of Indulgence and Trust before the huge impending withdrawal occurred that evening - thanks Jennifer, the Turkey was wonderful!

Even though I have not participated in any real organized sports since football in college, I still consider myself an athlete. It’s funny however that when you envision athletes you imagine huge muscles, flat stomachs and big attitudes. So much emphasis is placed on the physical elements. Only until you become a real athlete do you realize that it is the mind that is where the game or race is won or lost. There is this mythical place many athletes refer to over their careers called “the zone.” It’s an epiphany, a place where your mind takes over like the conductor of an orchestra and the body begins to sing, play and perform in way that you can’t explain or imagine.

The first time I was in the zone was back as a senior in high school in a football game in Stevens Point, WI. Point was undefeated that year and ranked number one in the state. We came in with one win, outmanned, outgunned, outclassed and we rocked their world. I caught a 40 yard touchdown pass, caused a fumble and had probably over twenty tackles on defense. The game went right down to the wire and I remember standing on the field physically exhausted with about two minutes left wondering how I was still standing. I hadn’t left the field for more than a minute or two the whole game and my mind was alive, racing and rearing to go because blood was in the water. On the next play, I went at it again almost feeling like things were in slow motion. I shrugged off a blocker, pushed my way through the line and tackled their star back in the backfield. The game was over and I left everything on the field.

It happened again in college at a football game at Hamlin but I won’t bore you with the details and there have been a couple other times that I can remember where I have been on the fringe of what is to me a not so mythical place. So what in the world does this have to do with Thanksgiving?

As I started my run on Thanksgiving Day, I expected to make it a few blocks and pass out because I have not been all that diligent in my fitness routine lately. As I made my way through town and onto the Root River Trail an old and welcome feeling came across me. My knee didn’t hurt anymore and my breaths were deep and satisfying. The air was crisp and the sound of the river moving along its way put my steps into a familiar rhythm. I hit the old railroad bridge on my way to Whalan and there I was, in the zone. I felt like I could have made it all the way to Whalan and back (close to 10 miles) and still had room to chase the kids for the next three days. The sun was a little brighter, the air a little cleaner and my love a little stronger. It was an amazing gift and made Thanksgiving Day more beautiful than I could have ever imagined.

Does that make me crazy?

It’s 10 AM and I just consumed a candy bar of all things. Who in their right mind eats a candy bar at 10 in the morning? I loved every minute of it!

I ripped my brand new jeans on a barbed wire fence a week or so ago and wanted to spit nails. I still wear them and some kid commented that they were more “in style” that way!

I drove up to work today behind this guy who was going 26 MPH in his VW Jetta and I grinned from ear to ear as I stepped on the peddle and burned $2 in gas as I whizzed by.

I skipped one of the most cherished of events, deer hunting, this year to stand at a trade show in San Diego and proceeded to make pancakes out of my feet!

If you can tell, I am feeling a little weird today! If you can't, maybe your crazy! Perhaps it’s because it’s such a nice day or the fact that I am leaving work shortly for the holiday weekend puts me in touch with my Gnarls Barkley side…just a bit on the giddy side. If you have not heard the song Crazy, go get it! It makes my buns crawl across the seat in the Tahoe as James and Noelle scream the chorus off key in the back seat. I can’t wait until the next wedding we go to so I can carve up the dance floor to that tune.

Being a “beauty” on this beautiful day! Have a super Thanksgiving!

Leavin on a jet plane...

I am no stranger to the road. Being a salesman, up until recently it was just part of what I had to do. I always just assumed that you had to take the bad with the good and the road was just part of my career that I had to deal with. I learned to enjoyed it and I was good at it.

The road can be an intriging place, an adventure, exploring something that you have never seen before. I got to see a bunch of the world that many people only dream about including most of Europe and Japan. But in that time, I danced the fringe of the road that you don't get to see unless you become a hard core roadie. There were a couple of years in my career that I logged well over 100k miles on an airplane and 80 nights a year away from home. The road gets ugly when you see it that much. You find yourself sitting next to someone upgraded in so called "First Class" enslaved to airplane schedules out of your control, jumping from on city to another only to find a chincy hotel room at the end of a long day. The hard part about being there is you don't see how hard it can be on life until you have an opportunity to be away from it for a while.

As most of you know, I took a new job in April, one that I thought would be more of the same, but turned out to be different. I have not set foot on a plane since July and I am getting ready to head out to San Diego this morning for a couple days. While I am excited to go and make some things happen at the event for my company, on this beautiful day I also can't wait to say...Hey its good to be back home again!

Happy Birthday - President of the MH Fan Club!

Ever since I was little, my biggest fan encouraged me to follow my dreams. I remember her from the first moments that my mind was able to recall and still to this day she is there to talk or keep me sane when the kids push us a little closer towards insanity.

Music has always been my reprieve...a part of my life that I can turn to when everything else has gone awry. Like my life, I would not have had this had it not been for my biggest fan. She encouraged me to do things that most people would have thought nuts at the time and was willing to invest time in long drives, long waits and high anxiety for me to understand and appreciate what and who I am.

It’s not easy being a fan. There are times when your admired star doesn't feel it necessary to give you the time of day and there are times when you show up only to have your star cancel your anticipated event and you go home a little dejected and wondering why. Being a parent is a little the same. You invest your hopes and dreams into a child hoping you pave the road enough for them to drive it by themselves, to enjoy it for themselves and to appreciate the talents and gifts they have been given.

My biggest fan has always been there…from church pews, to concert halls to solo events…the list goes on and on. I always chided her that she got more nervous than I did when I performed and I guess that is due in part to the investment she has made. On this beautiful day, I celebrate my biggest fan as November 9th is her birthday and a time to celebrate someone who has given me so much.

I love you mom and happy birthday.

"Fun" afternoon alone with dad

This morning, James headed off to Antigo with grandma and grandpa for the week. Mom headed into work so Noelle and I had the afternoon to ourselves. It was a gorgeous day so we headed out (without jackets!) to grab what is probably the last bit of 2006 fall. Even though we try and get individual time with the kids, it's really fun to just be alone with one or the other so you can create fun. As you can imagine, there is a big difference in creating fun with James vs. Noelle. Grampa rented a Bobcat this weekend and James and my version of creating fun was to get into the Bobcat and go dig up some dirt. Mom could hear him laughing all the way down the hill.

Little girls are sooooo different than little boys. It was my job to "make fun" for us this afternoon so I set off on my first agenda item. I had it in my plans to go on a treck through the freshly cut corn field to see if we could find a lone cob that fell through the harvester. We got to the edge of the field and Noelle decided the husk piles were too high to walk through so I capitulated to her and begrudgingly sat by the edge of the field and took pictures instead.

From there I had plans to head down the fence row to see if we could find a bird or some other creature. But I was vanquished again and our making fun transitioned to picking moss and lichens off the big rock in our yard with Noelle's "penny" (one of my guitar picks). She purposfully dropped her penny to make sure I had to work extra hard to get it for her. I think this could have lasted all afternoon had I not decided that our fun had to incorporate the tree in our yard.

Sticking to my guns and my intent to find more fun, I finally convinced her to come out of the tree. I figured a tour of the long barn was in order to see if any stray cats had settled in for the winter, but that was quickly vanquisted by Jumper our cat. She got to playing around with him and he firmly planted himself on her lap.

Finally I realized that my self-designated "CEO" job description for the day was incorrectly placed. Noelle was in charge and she was going to make fun out of whatever came across our path. It didn't matter what it was. My job was to participate and be Daddy...and I have to admit that I had a blast.

The most appreciated 20 minutes of my day!

As many of you know, mom has been working her tail off the past couple weeks trying to get year end complete. Our schedule has been altered a bit as I have been picking up the kids most evenings so that she can get a few more things done before wrapping up for the day.

Just to fill you in, our normal arrangement for the past couple years has been that I drop the kids off at school in the morning and Kelly would pick them up in the evening. She always has a few choice words for their demeanor after picking them up but I have not really had the opportunity to appreciate what that experience was like until now. I would liken it to having two starving leaches latch onto you and thoroughly try and suck what little life you have left in you after a hard days work. It's a tough role and I have to give mom credit for not making a bigger deal about it.

Tonight however, I have triumphed. They are both quietly sitting on the couch enjoying a nutritious hot dog and enjoying a politically incorret Looney Tunes episide. I am such a good parent...sitting down and writing this quick blurb has been the most appreciated 20 minutes of this beautiful day.

Normally a Man of Many Words...

Riding up to school this morning, James was asking all kinds of questions about how old people were.

James: How old is Grandpa Jim?
Dad: 63

James: How old is Uncle Mark?
Dad: 32

James: You are 33 years old. Your alot older than I am.
Dad: Yes, I am a lot older than you are.

James: Does that mean you will die before me some day?
Dad: Ah…um…most likely that will happen some day big guy.

James: I will miss you…
Dad:
Dad:
Dad:
Dad: I…ah….....I will miss you too...

That’s all I was able to say the rest of the way to school on this beautiful day.

The Beauty of Life

It’s hard not to stare at a picture of our kids and not wonder what life would be like without them. They are such an amazing gift and they give so much, but we were married almost six years before James came along. When we decided to start trying, I have to admit, I was terrified. Life was so easy, we had it made. Why would we want to “complexify” things? No sleep, big bucks, bigger responsibility and did I mention big bucks… oh yea. We gotta be insane.

Then terrorist number one came along and wow...no sleep, big bucks, big-time responsibility and ah...did I mention big bucks...oh yea. Funny part about it is it didn't matter. Well, it matters but not like I thought it would. Life has a way of turing things upside down sometimes and this one flipped me over like pancakes on a griddle. When hard times come along in life its easier to focus on the anguish of having to climb a hill without actually taking the time to relish what the view will look like from the top. I don't think anyone is ever prepared for what they will face in going down this road and I am guilty as charged...that's how I originally looked at having kids. Intimidated, afraid of the change and comfortable with the status quo. Now one of the most beautiful things that I try and comprehend sometimes is that they would not exist had we not decided to have them. They are a combination of us that no one could ever duplicate. Two instances in time forever captured in two little souls so beautiful and so precious.

I don’t think I realized that in the beginning. I was scared because most of what I focused on was the risk and not the benefit. One of the things that I cherish most is that I was wrong for being afraid and wrong for worrying. For all of the crazy, foolish and insane things they do, I have to admit that they brighten each and every one of our beautiful days.

Best laid plans run "in the muck"

Having firmly established today as a rainy, lazy, couch potato event, the kids decided to line up by the door shortly thereafter and ask to go out and get extremely dirty. I firmly stood up for principles and said...SURE! So much for lazy, rainy and what was a clean day!

Lazy, Rainy, Day

It's raining outside today. I think its funny sometimes how we kinda fall into this lazy, just want to sit on my butt all day, mood when its raining outside. I feels refreshing to have a decent reason to just sit, grab a blanket, put on your favorite flick (at this juncture in our life anything Disney will suffice) and let the good times roll. Can't mow the lawn because it stopped growing after the frost last week. Don't want to go outside cause we will get all wet. I just think we will sit and veg out. Welcome to our beautiful day.

Ok...So I was lazy this week!

As you can tell my posting diligence waned this week. This does not mean that I had nothing but boring and uneventful days. We actually had a lot of fun. Mom has been working really hard trying to get year end complete and Grandma came down and helped keep us sane.

Fall is always an interesting time of year for many reasons. One thing that perplexes me a little is that we always seem to have an up tick in mole activity this time of year. I have little (sometimes a little bigger than little) piles of dirt scattered across our yard. This basically drives me a nuts, but not enough to do anything about it so I just sit and stew a little and post my angst away out on the blog. I have had a trap in my garage for the entire summer that I have yet to stick in the ground. So I decided to share a friend of mine with you today...who has gotten a little under my skin (and my grass) for that matter. Ugly little bugger...

Never Color Outside of the Lines!

I attended the WBMA (Wisconsin Biotech) conference last week and had the opportunity to listen to a wonderful speaker - Sir Ken Robinson. As many of you know, I have aspirations of being Matt Foley (in a van down by the river) someday and so I jump at the opportunity to listen to a good speaker and catch a little inspiration of my own every now and then. Sir Ken was an articulate gent, but what captured my attention most was not his style or anything related to how he delivered his material. He shared a story from his upcoming book "Epiphany" which I would like to share with you.

There was this little girl that was having all kinds of problems in school. She had problems focusing, she had problems sitting still and she had problems listening. All of her teachers told her mother she was a bad student, that she had a learning disability and that she need to go see a specialist to do something about it. Her mother was concerned about her daughter's well being so she took their advice and they went to see a child psychologist about her daughters "problems."

The psychologist was a little non-traditional and proceeded to ask the little girl to sit still in the same room while he questioned her mother for ~1/2 hour about the problems her daughter was having in school. After the questioning was through, the psychologist asked the mother to go outside with him to discuss her daughter's issues further. Before he left the room the man thanked the little girl for being so patient and that her part of the process was over. As they walked out of the room, he turned on a radio and shut the door. The mother, expecting the worst, turned to the psychologist and waited for a barrage of scientific explanations related to her daughter's condition. The psychologist just sat there for a moment and instructed the mother to look through the window just out of sight so that her daughter could not see them looking in on her.

After a few moments, the little girl got up and started gracefully walking around the room. She moved from one end of the room to another, skipping, spinning and turning eventually making her way up on one of the tables and began dancing...her way of alleviating all the pent up anxiety she accumulated over the past 30 minutes. After watching all of this, the psychologist turned to the mother and said there is nothing wrong with your little girl. She is talented, beautiful and like any other child wants and needs to learn. The only difference is that she needs to move, she doesn't need to be confined and for that matter I would enroll her in a dance class or two. You need to help her learn to explore her talents in a way all the other teachers in her life have not been able to do so.

Her mother wisely heeded the advice and enrolled her daughter in a dance school. Little Gillian Lynne excelled from the get go and went onto found one most famous dance companies in the world. Her most famous accolades include choreographing both Phantom of the Opera and Cats, but she almost never became a dancer had it not been for the advice of a man who took the time and a unique approach to help her mother understand she needed to find her own way.

Stories like this hit too close to home for me. Sometimes I feel like that teacher who struggles to make the kids color inside the lines when it really doesn't matter. They need to and should find their own way and its up to us to help them explore how. Lord knows I never, ever colored outside of the lines. Neat, perfect and uniform...that's the way I wanted to do things...and I have a bridge I would like to sell you in Brooklyn if you are so interested.

And now you know the rest of the story - GOOD DAY!

My Secret

This has been troubling me for awhile, but I felt the time has come to let you in on one of my most closely held secrets. I must admit that I am part of a conspiracy to protect the secret lineage of a former Chinese leader...Chiang Kai-shek. I cannot hide anymore and the evidence above is too overwhelming to deny the truth any longer.

Being Chiang's secret love child has not always been easy. My angst for militant behavior, power and change has driven me to shoot cows with my bb gun in my back yard, to haphazardly do donuts in every car that I have owned and to move sporadically at the drop of a hat to chase a new and exciting battle (job). It's not always been easy and I feel much better now having let you in on my little secret.

Where does the time go?

I woke up this morning and started about my daily routine preparing for the day. This normally involves numerous mundane tasks like showering, dressing and most importantly coffee. This morning I was unusually efficient and somehow managed to complete these things giving me a few precious moments to just sit in the dark by myself and think.

Where does all of the time go? Before we had kids, we had hours, even days to really do nothing. We worked our tails off, but we still had oodles of time to ourselves. Back then, Kelly always had tax season to deal with and I remember spending most of one winter’s weekends working on a plant stand that I gave to mom as a gift. That project was a heck of a lot of fun and every time I go up to Antigo I take a few seconds to look at it and admire my amateur attempt at woodworking.

I don’t want to give you the wrong impression here; I would not trade being a Dad for anything in the world. I cannot imagine life without those two beautiful faces in my world. Like that plant stand, I sit back like any honest proud parent and admire “our two projects” at times and it just blows me away. I guess I am pondering one of the things that I have been guilty of over time: looking forward or back in time without really appreciating the moment at hand. Tim McGraw sings a song called “Live Like You Were Dying” and I know for myself that is one thing that I need to a better job of doing. Time, like money is something I think most people tend to appreciate the most when they don’t have any left.

I wonder where the summer went and I wonder how much fun it will be in Green Bay this weekend. I have not posted anything in a couple days, but I realize that in writing this it helps me think about life today and appreciate what I am writing on this page right now, at this moment. I am enjoying this beautiful day even though it is cloudy, overcast and a little cold. I hope you are as well.

Friday Night Lights

I took a walk at lunch today to enjoy one of the most beautiful days I can remember in a while. It was cool (mid 50’s) and there was a slow breeze that just kept the air moving enough to drag along the new fresh smells of fall. I wandered down the sidewalks thinking of fall and recalling memories of why I enjoy this time of year more than any other.

Growing up in Antigo, fall meant one thing…football. I know I attended many games before this, but the first fall football season that I remember was in 1982. Antigo won the state championship that year and I remember mentally “suiting up” as a kid preparing for each weeks game. We traipsed all over Wisconsin that year chasing a dream and at the end of fall that year, we all felt like heroes.

At the time for me football was life, but in hindsight it was the secondary if not tertiary experience. What we were really doing was finding a way to cherish one of Wisconsin’s most precious gifts. We found a way to play life’s game and enjoy it like few other moments in time. Yea, I remember some of the touchdowns and jumping up in the stands, but I also remember some of the most picturesque drives one can imagine through the beautiful fall color of Northern Wisconsin. I remember walking out on the field after the game and smelling the fresh grass preparing to retire for the year. And most of all I remember sharing what is one of my most cherish childhood memories with my Dad and my brother. We won that year. The amazing thing is that the celebration goes on again and again every time I experience a beautiful Wisconsin fall day.